What about vitiligo and self-pity?

Girl sitting on a bench looking full of self pity

WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE WITH VITILIGO HATE THEIR SKIN SO MUCH AND FEEL SO SORRY FOR THEMSELVES?

This sentiment was expressed on a vitiligo forum by an impressive young woman of 18 with a very positive approach to life in general, and to having vitiligo in particular.  She commented that she wasn’t looking for sympathy and implied (without being nasty about it) that others should stop feeling sorry for themselves.  

She made a valid point but, in fairness to the rest of us, I don’t honestly think that many vitiligo sufferers – if any – are looking for sympathy.  True, it is tempting at times to have an attack of self-pity. Mine used to surface from time to time (usually in the summer when I longed to wear short sleeves and short skirts and to join in with all the normal carefree summer activities that others found so effortless) and often led to thoughts like “why me?”.  But these feelings had more to do with frustration than anything else.

Here is how I replied to the post:

I found it uplifting – and more than a little humbling – to read your post, xxxx. You have wisdom well beyond your years and I have nothing but respect for your attitude towards your vitiligo. It is one I wish I could have shared throughout my life as a vitiligo “sufferer” (you clearly do not consider yourself to be a sufferer, but many people do, despite trying to adopt a positive outlook.)

I think it goes to show that there is no correct response to having vitiligo. Adopting a positive outlook and avoiding self-pity are obviously constructive things for all of us to do, whatever problems we face in life. But we are all so different in terms of our personality, our circumstances and also in terms of how noticeable our vitiligo is. For some people, the condition is psychologically devastating and this does not indicate any weakness on their part. The way we feel about our vitiligo is the way we feel about it. No one can tell us how we should feel and knowing that we should feel more positive about it does not necessarily help us feel that way.

I suppose what I am saying is – good for you, xxxx, for not letting vitiligo get you down and good for you for not letting how others feel about theirs influence you either. But, for those of you out there who want your vitiligo to go away I would say don’t put your life on hold waiting for it to happen, but do keep the faith because it can happen – I know because it happened to me after 50 years!   


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