Just like many other medical conditions, #vitiligo shows no favouritism. It affects all ethnicities, old and young, rich and poor, male and female alike. It takes no account of whether or not you are a famous or a good person, whether or not you deserve to have additional problems in your life. And it certainly doesn't care whether or not you feel sorry for yourself – which, if we are honest, we all do from time to time. It’s just one of those things that happens to some people and, depending on your personality and attitude to life, it can either be (multiple choice coming up...you choose the description that best fits you):
Whatever category above you fall into, I am guessing there isn’t a single one of us that hasn’t ever, at least once, asked the question “why me?” So I would like to suggest 3 answers that I hope will help.
The first answer to this question should really be, “why not me?” The question is, after all, a pointless one. In fact, it is entirely the wrong question. It assumes that fate chose to afflict the wrong victim. It suggests that I would prefer someone else to have been cursed with unwanted, unexplained white patches all over their skin. Or, even more nonsensically, it suggests that I might have preferred to have cancer or been paralysed in a traffic accident. It implies that suffering is fine – as long as it happens to someone else! Well, suffering is not fine, no matter who is doing the suffering. But, sadly, it is a fact of life. Most of the time, when we ask ourselves (or fate, or God) “why me?”, we know deep down that we are just feeling sorry for ourselves (which is OK, by the way – at least, it is human). The main trouble with the question, though, is that we are powerless to answer it. And every time we ask it seems to reinforce that powerlessness.
So, my second answer to the question "why me?" is that we should ditch that question for now and ask a different one - one that we have the power to answer. I have come to realise that the most empowering question a person with vitiligo (or any other affliction or adversity, come to that) can ask is "what can I do about it?" And the answer to that question is - "a lot!".
The sad thing is that comparatively few vitiligo sufferers are aware of just how much they can do to reverse their #de-pigmentation and revolutionise their health and happiness. And it's no wonder when you consider how little accurate information is available, not to mention the misinformation that often comes at us, intentionally, from unscrupulous con-merchants and, unwittingly, from well-intentioned but ill-informed doctors.
For nearly 5 decades I believed what I had been told. I believed that vitiligo was a life sentence, that it was a waste of time trying to treat it and that it would only ever get worse. It's no wonder that this prospect caused me to feel sorry for myself from time to time. I am sure I would have continued to believe these things if I had not, more or less accidentally, becomeliving proof that they were all utterly incorrect. If you have read my story of vitiligo re-pigmentation you will know that a somewhat half-hearted experiment with nutritional supplementation and sun exposure seven years ago unexpectedly and wonderfully reversed vitually all of the 80% pigment loss I had suffered by that point in my life. It is too early to say categorically that this recovery is permanent of course because only seven years have passed since then. But I take the fact that I have had no relapse and have only continued improving since then as a good sign :)
In the previous section of this blog I recommended ditching the original question because it was not one we have the power to answer and because it generally encourages self pity. However, there are times when the question “why me?” can be a valid one to ask and actually does have a meaningful answer.
Once I knew, from personal experience, that vitiligo was not the hopeless condition I once thought it was, I finally felt able to return to that initial question but to ask it in a completely different way - a way that led me to an empowering and uplifting third answer. And that answer to "why me?" is: “so that I can empathise with others who are going through what I went through”. Whether you think about it logically - or emotionally - there can really only ever be one helpful answer to the question “why do apparently random bad things happen to certain people”. And that is so they can overcome them and also help other people do the same.
This third answer was the primary motivation for starting my vitiligo blog soon after my re-pigmentation and is the reason I now spend so much of my time learning about what made it happen, reading up on research and corresponding with vitiligo friends. It’s not that I set out with any master plan to provide vitiligo support to others or to become any kind of information source on the subject. It has just naturally developed out of my extreme excitement and gratitude at having recovered to such an amazing extent. And, it has to be said, that this was fuelled by frustration (at times, to the point of anger) that so few genuinely helpful and accurate facts are available to people living with vitiligo to help them ask the right questions and to find the answers that do exist but that are still not common knowledge.
My name is Caroline.